Can i get some advice?

i knew for a long time that i wanted to leave my husband. i told him in july of 2007, and we went back and forth until recenty. he found a job in another city, found an apartment, and now he is in the process of moving out. he hadnt worked since 2001. that was the main reason why i said he had to leave, but he just landed this job 3 months ago, and seems to be on the right track, it just hurts me to high hell knowing that it was me kicking him out that got him jump started. its not that i regret my decision, but seeing his empty closet, and his things moved out hurts. is there any advice out there for getting over the hurt? o dealing with it in a healthy manor?Can i get some advice?
I have to say until you wrote the additional comments I wasn't sure what to say other than give it some time. Time will help but it doesn't do much for how you feel unless you decide to change. Just because he's employed and has a place of his own doesn't mean he's back on his feet. It just means he's doesn't have anyone at the moment to enable his behaviors. Before I was married, I was in a long term relationship very similar to yours. I was terrified to be alone and felt if I just believed and was the best person I could be that someone how he would respect that and respect me. His behaviors were neither respectful nor responsible. It took a very long time for me to finally walk away as well but I have to say it was the best decision I've ever made. Allow yourself to feel the loss and grieve over your relationship. Seek out a group of people in similar situations or a counselor to talk about how this is affecting you. Rely on your friends but not too heavily or it can become overbearing for them to deal with. Know that you are doing the best for yourself and you are worth having someone who will respect and treat you with dignity. Don't allow your grief to keep you from exploring life and do things you enjoy doing without considering him. It will get easier as time goes on and if you don't obsess over him and find ways to enrich your own life. Be strong! Can i get some advice?
I think you should move. Do what he's doing, leave that past behind you, I think that's the healthy thing to do.


And as far as your emotions go, I recently asked a similar question and this was the answer that made sense to me ';you made the right choice....life isn't easy, but id rather struggle knowing i care about someone an its tough to move on , than to live w/ hate an anger toward another person';
It's not easy but maybe you should just start doing more for yourself making yourself happy, if you have friends or family members that may invite you out you should go and enjoy. Its a huge change when the person you were living with so long is no longer there that is understandable but at the same time you have to look at the reason you didn't want to live with him anymore. I hope you feel better soon, good luck.
So... why does it hurt knowing both of you are in a better situation?





You are now free of having to deal with a lazy man and he now has a job and has gotten back on track for him.





You need a new man, it sounds like yes. But don't get one that takes advantages or things for granted from his spouse.
Marrige....


For Better for Worst..... Rich or POOR! your loss sweetie. you didnt take your vows they way they where meant... now its time for you to move on, ,you didnt support him, when he mostly needed him, have a good one and learn from your mistake....
That's good that you do not regret your decision. Whenever someone we love or are close to moves, etc., it hurts. The routine is broken. Fill up your free time will things that give you pleasure. Good luk to you.
Time can and wil heal everything. when i left my ex it hurt sooo bad. but he was a bum too. make sure you have a good support system and you ll be fine. good luck

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