I would take it slow. You and your mom have a lot of hurt left when he abandoned both of you. I am sure your mom had a hard time with a new baby and trying to make a go of it. You said you are not sure and you are correct to feel that way. My question is, why now? Why not when you were 5 and went to kindergarten. When you graduated 8th grade. When you got hurt, where was the family then? I know, better late than never, so I would suggest to meet him privately at first and keep it simple. Then if YOU and only you want to continue any type of relationship you should proceed with caution. I know how you feel, you don't want your mom to feel hurt. Talk to her also and see how she feels about it.My biological father's family now wants to get to know me. Any advice?
No one can answer for the biological person. You are the only one that can make that kind of decision. As for the remaining family, since you really don't know them or what has transpired over the years you should consider giving them an opportunity to explain themselves or as they say, get to know you. Look you only have to do it once and you never know, there might be some good people wanting to know you.
As far as the man who donated his sperm, if it were me I would give him one chance to explain himself, with out giving into any kind of self pity or excuses I would let him know you are interested only in hearing what he has to say about abandoning you and your Mom. After that you will need time to think about what he said... But, just so you know: Excuses are like belly buttons, everybody has one. If wants to tell you how bad his life was, listen and leave. However, if he was in a Turkish prison maybe you should give him a listen.
Well Stephanie, there are two sides to a story. You have only heard your Mothers saga. Many men are forced to leave. My son had to leave his wife, when he caught her in bed with another man. Many times a women will tell the man she never wants to see him again and he can not see the baby. Many times a man will run off for some reason or another. You need to speak to your biological Father. Have tests done to make sure he is your Dad. The worse thing that can happen to any child is to be told a certain man is their Father and then to find out he is not. I don't 'mean to tell you this and hopefully it does not point a finger at your Mother. But the Mothers hide behind the entire truth and then lay the entire blame on the Father. AND same goes for the Dad's. I don't know how old you are, but you need to find out. Your visit will open many doorways. You need to know for your children and about your Father's Genealogical side. Good Luck. I would go find out. Probably he is a millionaire??? You will be included in his inheritance. So go find out.
Are you interested in meeting them or do you feel obligated? If you feel obligated, don't meet them. If you are sincerely interested in getting to know them and spending time with them in the future, contact them.
You could meet with them and see how things go..as far as your father..try talking to a therapist about your feelings and concerns about this first..it may help you sort out some needed issues..
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